#I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
#You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
#When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
#Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
#Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
#Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
#Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
#I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
#Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
#Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
#If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
#You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
#When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
#Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
#Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
#Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
#Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
#I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
#Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
#Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
#If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
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